{"id":1131,"date":"2018-07-06T02:30:41","date_gmt":"2018-07-06T02:30:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gentryconnects.net\/?p=1131"},"modified":"2018-07-03T17:41:50","modified_gmt":"2018-07-03T17:41:50","slug":"kids-say-the-funniest-things","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gentryconnects.net\/?p=1131","title":{"rendered":"Kids Say the Funniest Things"},"content":{"rendered":"

“Tell us again what you thought about your first day at Pre-Pre School.”<\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\"\"<\/h4>\n

“Wouldn’t it have been cheaper to just buy an umbrella rather than 3 Mai Tais?”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“The Bolognese sauce was perfect,…but the pasta was definitely too al dente.”<\/strong>\"\"<\/h4>\n

“The kids at school told me I shouldn’t date older women.”<\/strong>\"\"<\/h4>\n

“Mom is a bit over-protective,… so just go along with the helmets for a while.”<\/strong>\"\"<\/h4>\n

“Mom, you said I could have a dog as a new pet! I’m really not into turtles!”<\/strong>\"\"<\/h4>\n

“Don’t come any closer! I’ve got yogurt and I know how to use it!”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“Couldn’t we just go to a normal school rather than this lame school for the performing arts?”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

“Mom,…I’m pretty sure this is NOT an approved bike seat!”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

“Oh my gosh,…the market just hit 24,000! Wait,…what’s a market?”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

“Read the part to me again about sharing books!”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

“What,…this is it? I don’t want to appear ungrateful,…but a weird rubber ball for my birthday,…REALLY?”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“OK Mr. Big Dog,…there is a new sheriff in town and you AREN’T it!”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“Is high school totally cool like everyone says it is?”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“Listen, I know the ‘Tour de France ‘ just started,…but do I have to do this ALL day?”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“Well actually, I was surprised as well! It had a nice crunch to it with a faint hint of rosemary.”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“Papa, sorry,… all I’ve got is Drake, Cardi B, and Childish Gambino. You are like, so 2016!”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“This is as far as it goes. You’re right, I don’t thinks she has what it takes for the Bolshoi!”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“I am pretty sure there ARE child labor laws in this state!”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“Papa,…did you read about the possibility of Manafort flipping?”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“Well yes,…it is over-the-top, but on you it TOTALLY works!”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“Darn,…I should have read the instructions!”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“I think I have to get off the phone.”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“It’s NOT fair,…you’ve had the Swiffer for the past 10 minutes!”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“Papa,…if Mimi finds out about this new bike you are totally toast!”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“Oh come on! I can’t watch another Oprah!”\u00a0<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/h4>\n

“Tonight is fine,…but next time can we do Uber?”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

“Mimi,…tell me again,…was that 5 cents an hour…or 5 dollars an hour?”<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Photos:Dick Gentry. Not to be used without permission.<\/strong><\/h3>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“Tell us again what you thought about your first day at Pre-Pre School.”\u00a0 “Wouldn’t it have been cheaper to just buy an umbrella rather than 3 Mai Tais?” “The Bolognese sauce was perfect,…but the pasta was definitely too al dente.” “The kids at school told me I shouldn’t date older women.” “Mom is a bit over-protective,… so just go along with the helmets for a while.” “Mom, you said I could have a dog as a new pet! I’m really not into turtles!” “Don’t come any closer! I’ve got yogurt and I know how to use it!” “Couldn’t we just go to a normal school rather than this lame school for the performing arts?” “Mom,…I’m pretty sure this is NOT an approved bike seat!” “Oh my gosh,…the market just hit 24,000! Wait,…what’s a market?” “Read the part to me again about sharing books!” “What,…this is it? I don’t want to appear ungrateful,…but a weird rubber ball for my birthday,…REALLY?” “OK Mr. Big Dog,…there is a new sheriff in town and you AREN’T it!” “Is high school totally cool like everyone says it is?” “Listen, I know the ‘Tour de France ‘ just started,…but do I have to do this ALL day?” “Well actually, I was surprised as well! It had a nice crunch to it with a faint hint of rosemary.” “Papa, sorry,… all I’ve got is Drake, Cardi B, and Childish Gambino. You are like, so 2016!” “This is as far as it goes. You’re right, I don’t thinks she has what it takes for the Bolshoi!” “I am pretty sure there ARE child labor laws in this state!” “Papa,…did you read about the possibility of Manafort flipping?” “Well yes,…it is over-the-top, but on you it TOTALLY works!” “Darn,…I should have read the instructions!” “I think I have to get off the phone.” “It’s NOT fair,…you’ve had the Swiffer for the past 10 minutes!” “Papa,…if Mimi finds out about this new bike you are totally toast!” “Oh come on! I can’t watch another Oprah!”\u00a0 “Tonight is fine,…but next time can we do Uber?” “Mimi,…tell me again,…was that 5 cents an hour…or 5 dollars an hour?” Photos:Dick Gentry. Not to be used without permission.    <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1132,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[192,166],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1131","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","category-inspiration"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/gentryconnects.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/1.jpg?fit=1137%2C760&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/gentryconnects.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1131","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/gentryconnects.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/gentryconnects.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gentryconnects.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gentryconnects.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1131"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"https:\/\/gentryconnects.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1131\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1187,"href":"https:\/\/gentryconnects.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1131\/revisions\/1187"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gentryconnects.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1132"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/gentryconnects.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1131"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gentryconnects.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1131"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/gentryconnects.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1131"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}